How do you respond to your self-talk?

Our reactions to events and challenges that happen throughout our life can affect the quality of our self talk and our behaviour towards others. Most of us speak more harshly to ourselves than we do to others – and often we are unaware of the constant critique that goes in our head.

Over time many of us begin to believe our internal stories and this affects our mood, our energy and our ability to connect.

This month’s self-care project

Practice noticing the impact of your self talk

Take some time this month to begin to recognise what thoughts you have that cause you negative feelings or stress you out. 

Start jotting down the regular commentary you have about yourself – notice how your self-talk affects you. Look for any patterns.

As you recognise some of you more regular commentaries – it can be helpful to contemplate. Is this thought helping or hindering me? If it is not helpful – try and let it go. Easier said than done I know – but remember you are not your thoughts – and, you don’t have to believe every thought you have.  

For some reason our brains are wired to focus more on the negative chatter than the positive.

Whenever you can catch yourself in a negative dialogue about yourself; ‘what you did’, ‘why someone said something’, ‘what you should have done’ etc  – try see the thought for what it is –and refocus your attention.

Your breath is a helpful tool for this – breathe in and out through your nose and let your feet feel supported by the floor. Stay with your breath as long as you need.

As you notice your self-talk focus on the “what’s”….

• What are you telling yourself?
• What are you feeling in your body?
• What is your breath doing?

Also consider …

• What other ways could I look at this situation?
• What evidence is there that this thought is true?
• What would I say to a friend or loved one in this situation?

This practice is not about ignoring your feelings and experiences – it is more about developing investigative tools to help you release yourself from the constriction they create – hopefully supporting you to feel less overwhelmed from them.

To find more information on how you can incorporate self-care and wellbeing practices into your day to day life, contact me today charlotte@sagepractices.co.nz